As some of you may know I started working 40 hours a week and I am currently not only physical but also mentally exhausted. I am happy with my life, I manage to hit my writing goal of 200 words for Project A most days, but yet I did not get as much done as I wished I would be able to do.
I am proud of having written more than 18.000 words for Project A so far, for I normally quit after less than half that number. And I did fill some of the major plot holes ( I wonder, though, why plotting A always makes me end up finding new things for the sequel. Gosh brain, concentrate on one thing first!), so I am still proud of what I did this month.
Figuring out how I can use the short amount of free time during work weeks has been a real challenge, but I changed my way of using to do lists and found a new way of motivating myself, so I am quite positive that I am on a good path and as soon as work is turning into a routine I hope to become even more productive.
Today, for the first time in what felt like forever I had time to take my dog for a walk in the forest, I love this time of year, every falling leave speaks bliss to me - as Emily Bronte once said. And of course I came home with a new poem and a new idea. But lately an old enemy has reappeared in my writing life: Self doubt. I read in an online article about the traits of successful writers, that one has to shove self doubt aside until the work is finished and then allow critique to make it better. But I am struggling with self doubt. Is my writing good enough? Am I getting better at it at all? Shouldn't I just quit because there is no way in life I can finish this project anyway?
I am determined to push through. I am determined to finish this novel, but I haven't really found a way to deal with self doubt, except of course to ignore it. Have you encountered this problem? What did you do? I would love to hear your tips, or maybe your problems, down below in the comments. (If you do not wish to comment you can send me an anon message here.)
So what am I planning to set as goals for the new month? It is November and in an insane moment I signed up for Nanowrimo. Yes, the girl that can't even write 200 words each day is now trying to write 50.000 words in one month. Truth be told I already have a list of scenes I can work on for Project A, so I should be set for the first few weeks... I do not know how I will combine it with my already busy schedule (I have two weekends of travelling ahead of me next month) but I do not wish to complain. Nano is a great chance to motivate me, to force myself to write every day. Because let us face it if I do not glue my but to my chair I may never finish this thing. And I cannot let self doubt win, can I? This book is important to me, though many people in real life don't think I will ever finish it. I can prove them wrong. I can do this somehow.
And if not, well then at least I tried. And being a part of something is always more important than winning, right? Have you joined NANO yet? Have you done before? Tips or questions? Leave them down below or in my askbox. And together we may survive November ;)
"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."
- Scott Adams
Love what you do, promote what you love!
M
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